Youthful Vengeance

It’s been awhile, but I’m still here.

Today in my quiet time I read the very interesting and applicable account of Rehoboam in 2 Chronic…what?…cles.

verse 8: But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him.

and then later in verse 19: So Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day.

I was pretty convicted by what these scriptures had to say.

1. Youthful arrogance tends to blind better judgement.
2. Youthful inexperience tends to make difficult situations more difficult.
3. Youthful invulnerability tends to reveal vulnerabilities.

I’m 35 and still consider myself a “young guy”. So I recognize these traits only because I see them in myself. More and more there seems to be a bigger emphasis upon youth. 40 is the new 30. What’s the latest technology? How hip are you? While I am 35 I never have really focused on these things, but I have definitely felt their lure in my life. Even in the church I have the pull to the latest and greatest. We are enamored by the new, the young.

But what about the old?

If you are young how do you protect yourself from youthful arrogance?

If you are older how do you keep yourself from being marginalized?

Vacation.

Well this week I am on vacation and so I thought that I would share a few images and memories thus far.

Monday night went to the Royals Redsox game in Kansas City with my older brother. It was a great game that the Royals won. Here was a key play in the game though the real action was missed by the cameraman.

On Tuesday we traveled from Kansas City to Springfield, MO and on the way stopped at a cheese outlet in Oesceola. Wonderful. Simply wonderful. All the free sample cheeses. We I of course just had to buy some. Here is a pic of my daughter and I outside the store with our bag and cups o’ goods.

Then on Wednesday my brother in law took me kayaking on Lake Taneycomo. We put in by the Branson Landing and paddled around the area for a couple of hours. This was my first attempt at kayaking and I was really nervous about rolling over because the water is a constant 50 degrees Fahrenheit year round. I didn’t rollover the whole time, but I also didn’t take any pictures. I had bought one of those disposal submersible camera’s just for the occasion and left it in the van. DOH! But afterward we hung out at the Landing for a bit and watched the fire/fountain show.

Then on Thursday I went fishing on the Finley River by myself. It was AWESOME. I caught 2 large mouth, 1 small mouth, 3 rock bass, and 6 or so perch. I did have my disposable/submersible camera with me and took some shots, but of course it’s not digital so we’ll have to wait on those.

As usual I’m learning some stuff about myself on vacation. Like how to balance time away and time with the family (my immediate family, wife and daughter especially). But also managing things that have to get done while still attempting to detach myself from my work for a couple of days. It’s not easy. So far I have finished and sent out a video project. I have written an article for a magazine and I still have some school work to get done before classes start on the 19th. I’m not saying all this to make myself out to be a martyr, I’m just recognizing that it is hard to really get away and disconnect and I am realizing that even on vacation there has to be balance. It’s something I’m still learning.

What are your vacation plans? If you’ve already gone on vacation what was your favorite thing?

Bad Boys. Bad Boys. And Girls

Well a week ago Friday I mentioned that I was going on a ride along with a police officer friend of mine. Well I had a ton of fun explore the dark underside of society on a typical weekend night. So here are a couple of video clips from the night:

Here we are responding to a call with lights and sirens. It amazes me how many people are completely oblivious to the shrieking siren and flashing lights.

Here we are backing up on a traffic violation. Turns out one of the occupants had some outstanding warrants.

I have a new appreciation and admiration for our public servants. Day in and day out, night in and night out these men and woman work to protect us from all kinds of craziness. Their job description is to be on the frontlines of societies most dangerous situations and minimize and/or remove the threat while doing all they can to protect property and lives. Whether fire, ambulance or police, they all serve us in ways that go unnoticed and unappreciated. I remember well after 9/11 how we went through a phase of revering and being thankful for them all.

Who else goes unrecognized for their service?

Speaking of choices…

So we had our friends over last night for dinner…it is so good to catch up with friends…but I had the choice to inflict emotional harm on their youngest daughter…and well I did.

The Dawn of a New Day.

 

Yeah it’s not nearly as cool as “THE DARK NIGHT”…but man we sure could use it. The other day I posted about the movie The Dark Knightand there was some really good discussion that came out of it. Watching the movie triggered some deep emotions from me that seemed kind of weird on the surface but after processing it I have realized that it’s really not all that weird or unexpected. The reality is that I have been wrestling over these issues for some time.

So I’ve been posting everywhere how my heart is broken and that I am generally angry. It’s got some people a little freaked I suppose. Ok well, it probably does freak most people out, but I am really thankful for those who have the courage and take the time to engage me. The other day I hijacked a friends blog (she asked me to) and posted a comment that begins to push me toward a deeper realization and better understanding of life here on earth. My friend just returned from a trip to India where she spent time loving people who are literally outcast by their society. The subject of suffering was brought up and the question asked “Does God allow suffering?”. Here was my response to that question:

Here is where I am at on this issue, and I admit up front that I really don’t know much simply because I haven’t experienced much. I’ve seen some firsthand, but not much in terms of my own life has been spent suffering. I always feel like a newborn infant trying to comprehend some complex theory of physics…I don’t have the capacity and in some ways it’s not really my business.

I agree with you that suffering is a product of the free will that God has gifted the human race. In his desire to have a true relationship with humanity he required that we have the choice in having a relationship with him. (Though even this is a bit confusing because angels appearantly had a choice, look at what happened to Satan?) So evil and suffering are the result of humans chosing opposite of God’s will. God’s will being that all mankind be reconciled to him through his Son Jesus Christ. But this is where the beauty of God shines through. God sent His Son to suffer and to show that in suffering comes the greatest revelation of his love and his grace. As dark as things can get here on earth there is another reality. 1. God has rescued us from death and eternal darkness. 2. His presence is here for us to rely upon in those times. So it is not so much that God allows suffering, but more that God seeks to rescue and comfort those who suffer. We often get it backwards. This is where my heart really takes off. I am an agent of peace and joy sent and empowered by God through his Spirit to comfort the uncomfortable, to console the unconsolable, to do whatever I can, wherever I am, with whatever I have to alleviate suffering for the glory of God.

I know that there are alot of people who struggle with this issue and that this issue has caused many to completely lose their faith in God. I believe that it is because we get it backwards. We blame God for the suffering and evil in this world as if we as humans are not culpable. Truly God could have created the world and not allowed evil and suffering. But that would have required that we as humans have no choice, and choice is what makes us truly dangerous and powerful. I don’t know about you but I want to be dangerous and I want to be powerful. I want to be able to make choices that make a difference in this life and the next. And I don’t say that lightly because I recognize how much pain and suffering is caused even by my own choices ( just ask my family ;). )

So what dangerous choices are you faced with? Do you see yourself as an agent of mercy and grace?

The Dark Knight.

Yup. I saw it. This past Sunday. And yes I was quite impressed by the whole thing. Everyone loves the new Batman movie and even the critics are impressed by the movie itself. There has been at least one person who has raised some really good questions regarding the movie and its statement regarding our current culture.

I have to admit that this movie hit me at the right/wrong time and has brought me my very own dark night of the soul. Now I don’t want to be all dramatic but as I have thought about the events that have occurred over the last couple of days I have seen a common thread in them all and it includes going to see the new Batman movie.

The movie is dark. The movie is twisted. My stomach was in knots throughout the whole thing and even in the end you don’t leave with a happy-go-lucky sense that everyone is doing great and everything is going to be just alright.

This plot has become somewhat of a microcosm of life to me. There is so much pain and suffering in this world. Most people that I am surrounded by (friends and strangers alike) seem to ignore the massive amounts of suffering too fearful and powerless to do anything about it. I think about the homeless guy who hangs around the local grocery store. Standing there watching soccer moms pass by in their air conditioned Lexus RX. I think about the absolute lust we fixate ourselves with on the latest trinkets and gadgets. Running our fingers over the metaled curves of our phones or smartphones texting and driving and talking to help drown out the cries of suffering. Even within the church we are obsessed with being technologically relevant and cutting edge and we throw Jesus’ name in the mix to make it all sound so holy.

I’m guilty of everyone of these perspectives. I have perpetuated and propagated these very lines of thought.

I am no better than anyone else and that is why I believe that my soul has entered a dark night. I have bought in. I have felt myself pulled between two powerful and important forces. One that seeks to be satisfied by things that are tangible. One that seeks to be satisfied by things that are intangible. I only have myself to blame.

In some ways I feel like I have the weight of the entire world on my shoulders crying out for justice and it seems to me that no one really cares. Even those who are supposed to.

So yesterday I spent much of the day angry. I voted angry. I drove around looking for the homeless guy at the grocery store so that I could take him shopping (he wasn’t around). Today, when my mind is quiet and I am still the pain and suffering still crash over me. Bringing such a burden.

Have you ever entered the dark night of the soul? How did you deal with it?

Tonight.

I can feel it coming in the air tonight…

Yes. Tonight I fulfill a goal of mine. I am riding along with a friend of mine who is a police office with the Tulsa Police Department. I will be taking a video camera along with me so hopefully I’ll have some good stuff to share with you all.

What’s happening in your world tonight?

Security.

Security is feeling secure enough to do or try something that might be risky. It is interesting how the human psyche protects most of us from doing things that are really dangerous or life threatening. But there is also something to attempting risk. Without risk there is no reward. What is the reward for a safe and secure life? Without risk there is no possibility for return. The greater the risk usually the greater the reward. Think of a business or a relationship or even some example of human achievement. All require some risk and usually the greater the risk the greater the achievement, etc…

I’ve seen this at work in my own life. In my marriage the more risk I take in revealing my true self to my wife the deeper our relationship grows. In my relationship with God. The more I am willing to set aside the things I think are important and just be in tune with what God is doing the more fulfilling and rewarding my life becomes. In relationships with other people. The more I make myself vulnerable to them the more I can experience life with others regardless of their situation.

What is your approach to risk management? Where do you need to take more risk?

I’m still here.

A blogger of my caliber can’t afford too much time away. In other words I realize that my audience is still developing and that capturing the attention of those who pass by or actually subscribe requires me to be like Metamucil…consistent and regular.

So where have I been? Right here. In Tulsa. On Tuesday I had the opportunity to spend the day with an incredible friend of mine; Yacouba Seydou. He is the man who created the organization that I traveled to Niger with.

Yacouba has an amazing story to share about his own life that challenges me to look at life here on earth differently. Yacouba was born in Niger and raised Muslim as the overwhelming majority of people in that country are. Given the opportunity to come to the United States to study agriculture under a USAID grant Yacouba spent sometime working in the Nigerien government. Then in the early 1990s he had the opportunity to come to the US again to work on a Master’s degree. This time after finishing his studies he stayed in the US working at a meat packing plant in western Kansas.

One night while lying in bed Yacouba was visited by Jesus Christ in a vision. Jesus appeared dressed in white and surrounded by a great light. He reached out his hand and placed a wafer in Yacouba’s mouth. The vision unnerved Yacouba and he decided to go to the store and find something to eat. While at the store a man introduced himself to Yacouba as a pastor at a local church. Yacouba began attending church learning about the Bible and Jesus.

Over time Yacouba began to feel that God was calling him back to his country to minister to the people there. He attended ORU for a short while, but eventually felt that God was calling him to just go.

There is something remarkable about people who have come literally face to face with Jesus. They are undeterred by “religion” or “theology”. Their faith is built upon an unmovable conviction that indeed Jesus is alive and powerful. That Jesus is working to spread the message of his love and grace to everyone using anyone and anything he pleases. In fact, what appear to be obstacles are really opportunities for the power of Jesus to be shown to all those involved.

So this past Tuesday I found myself in an unusual spiritual condition. Faced with the reality of my own lack of faith in many areas, I repented of cheapening Jesus and his power. I realized that all the things I thought I controlled; I really don’t. In fact, control is really an illusion. Do I control how much money I make? Maybe a little, but there are all those unexpected things that pop up as a reminder that No I don’t control my money as much as I think. Do I control how and what others think? I may be able to alter perceptions about myself but the bottom line is that I can’t control what or how others think; about myself, about others, or really about anything.

So I have associated an old word with my new thinking. Pussyfooting. I have been pussyfooting around with the Truth. And by doing so…I have greatly limited the power of Jesus to work in and through me.

I am truly sorry.

How are you pussyfooting with the gospel?

* Parts of Yacouba’s story are taken from a written account compiled by Dr John Stamm.

Gone Fishing.

null

I’m out today…I’ll be visiting this place with the family.

What fun “local” destinations are you going to be visiting?