Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Blahginess!

The Dark Knight.

Yup. I saw it. This past Sunday. And yes I was quite impressed by the whole thing. Everyone loves the new Batman movie and even the critics are impressed by the movie itself. There has been at least one person who has raised some really good questions regarding the movie and its statement regarding our current culture.

I have to admit that this movie hit me at the right/wrong time and has brought me my very own dark night of the soul. Now I don’t want to be all dramatic but as I have thought about the events that have occurred over the last couple of days I have seen a common thread in them all and it includes going to see the new Batman movie.

The movie is dark. The movie is twisted. My stomach was in knots throughout the whole thing and even in the end you don’t leave with a happy-go-lucky sense that everyone is doing great and everything is going to be just alright.

This plot has become somewhat of a microcosm of life to me. There is so much pain and suffering in this world. Most people that I am surrounded by (friends and strangers alike) seem to ignore the massive amounts of suffering too fearful and powerless to do anything about it. I think about the homeless guy who hangs around the local grocery store. Standing there watching soccer moms pass by in their air conditioned Lexus RX. I think about the absolute lust we fixate ourselves with on the latest trinkets and gadgets. Running our fingers over the metaled curves of our phones or smartphones texting and driving and talking to help drown out the cries of suffering. Even within the church we are obsessed with being technologically relevant and cutting edge and we throw Jesus’ name in the mix to make it all sound so holy.

I’m guilty of everyone of these perspectives. I have perpetuated and propagated these very lines of thought.

I am no better than anyone else and that is why I believe that my soul has entered a dark night. I have bought in. I have felt myself pulled between two powerful and important forces. One that seeks to be satisfied by things that are tangible. One that seeks to be satisfied by things that are intangible. I only have myself to blame.

In some ways I feel like I have the weight of the entire world on my shoulders crying out for justice and it seems to me that no one really cares. Even those who are supposed to.

So yesterday I spent much of the day angry. I voted angry. I drove around looking for the homeless guy at the grocery store so that I could take him shopping (he wasn’t around). Today, when my mind is quiet and I am still the pain and suffering still crash over me. Bringing such a burden.

Have you ever entered the dark night of the soul? How did you deal with it?


12 responses

  1. mimi

    Youre awesome!

    July 30, 2008 at 4:12 pm

  2. I deal with it by crying out to God, remembering He is in control, and doing what I can. It helps me to know I am getting to know His heart better in times like those as well. As our hearts grow more like His, I think there is more pain, but also deeper joy. I haven’t found a way to have one without the other.

    July 30, 2008 at 7:52 pm

  3. scootergirl1978

    I know I have had some dark nights and have barely made through some of them. My friends have helped me through a lot of them and getting into a deeper relationship with Christ has made all the difference. Just recently getting rid of my books and not watching tv have helped me realize a few of the things I always thought I HAD to have and now know that I didn’t really need them at all.

    July 30, 2008 at 10:06 pm

  4. kenyongerbrandt


    tawny–the part about the more we know the heart of God the more the burden (and in some ways the pain) deepen is so true. I am coming face to face with that reality.

    July 30, 2008 at 10:16 pm

  5. Kenyon, I don’t think the burden is supposed to get worse, we have to let Him carry the responsibilty of everything. The pain is worse, because we are more alive and He won’t let us put all of our band-aids the pain. (Also known as distractions) And we notice so much more. Like you were saying.

    July 30, 2008 at 10:38 pm

  6. kenyongerbrandt

    scootgirl–I know that there is always more that I can do without and I think part of the pain is realizing our “dependence” on things that really have no value or significance.

    tawny–Right now I have to respectfully say that I disagree. I feel that the more I see the heart of God the more the burden becomes real and heavier. Maybe we are both saying the same thing, because I totally agree with your conclusion that God does not let us off the hook in this area and I am thankful for that.

    July 30, 2008 at 10:46 pm

  7. Maybe we mean something different by burden? I was thinking of the verses were Jesus said His burden is easy and His yoke is light. We are supposed to love and grieve and rejoice but we should have joy through it all. If we are losing our joy because of the weight of the burden we are carrying, we are taking too much on ourselves. I believe we share God’s joy and pain, but we let Him carry the weight of it all. We share His pain now, but we can look forward to the day when He will make all things right.

    You can always disagree with me, I am ok with that. 🙂

    July 30, 2008 at 10:55 pm

  8. kenyongerbrandt

    tawny–Let me say that I wholeheartedly agree with what you are saying. I think right now for me, in this moment, in the dark night, those things aren’t necessarily as true for me as they might be at another time. And I think that this is part of the process through I am learning more about the heart of God. It is painful, it is burdensome and I believe that you are right because I do feel that alot of the fixing of these problems is dependent upon myself and that I WILL come to the place where it is Jesus and only Jesus upon whom I rely. There just this process and I am learning and dialouging with you is an important part of that as well…so thanks.

    July 31, 2008 at 2:33 am

  9. Kenyon, my heart is aching for you in your dark night. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

    We are here to worship and have fellowship with our very powerful, humble King. He allows us to share His heart through His Spirit in us, not just to know about it. Sometimes we have the honor of feeling His feelings and dreaming His dreams and aching for what He aches for. But we can’t lose hope, because He is our Hope and He will not fail.

    Philipians 3:10-14 The Message

    I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it. I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

    You are off and running, by sharing in His suffering….

    Your sister in Him…..

    PS Next week I may be in the same place you are and you can give all this back to me. 🙂

    July 31, 2008 at 4:44 am

  10. redthread

    He has showed you oh man what is good and what does the Lord require of you? To practice justice, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
    Micah 6:8

    I am in the same boat. My girlfriend went on and on about her super double stroller today and how it was an absolute necessity and I felt sick. It was over $700…I had just finished telling her about my trip to India and about the little aids baby and about how the kids eat tiny amounts of food each day. And when I challenged her on the stroller she justified it, over and over again. I can no longer relate…PRAISE GOD. I think this world is going to be uncomfortable for you and I … and I hope I never lose that.

    July 31, 2008 at 5:44 pm

  11. kenyongerbrandt

    tawny–I very much appreciate that scripture. It’s in times like these that the Message speaks so clearly and accurately to me. Thank you so much for those words and I would be more than happy to throw this all back in your face next week. 😉

    redthread–$700 means alot of different things to a lot of different people. I just wish that everyone could see how much difference they could make with so little. And not just money but time and effort too! We don’t have to go halfway around the world to find people in desperation…though it sure is fun and rewarding!

    August 1, 2008 at 3:03 am

  12. Pingback: The Dawn of a New Day. « My Blahg Life by Kenyon Gerbrandt

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